Chaos and Control by Season Vining

Author:Season Vining
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: new adult; romance; opposites attract; protector; return to hometown; Obsessive compulsive disorder; runaway; record store; forbidden love; Abbi Glines; Cora Carmack; poetry
Publisher: Entangled Publishing, LLC (Embrace)
Published: 2017-11-17T05:00:00+00:00

Seeing, feeling, touching, tasting

She gives me the gift of sight

Watching her fall apart

Pulls me together

The sweet aroma of

Woman, lust, flowers, sweat

Delivers a buzzing high

I’ve never known

She is my addiction,

A kinder word for obsession

So tempting in her willingness

So promising in her words

Still my internal struggle

Prevails and she leaves me

Hard and wanting

What I cannot have

- Preston

Chapter Fifteen

Exodus

Though I want to tuck myself away and hide from the rest of the world, I want to see Preston more. After Bennie fusses over me and makes sure I’m okay, she heads downstairs. I take a long shower, standing beneath the spray until my skin is pink. When I’m finished, I swipe at the condensation on the mirror and study my reflection. The roots of my hair are showing, blonde fading into lavender. I’m okay with the way it looks. I’m back to my normal weight now, rounded curves where they should be, instead of jutting hip bones. It’s the first time in months that I’ve been completely bruise free. I push away the sadness and anger that accompanies that thought.

I put on my blue-jean cutoffs, my Beastie Boys T-shirt, and my boots—feels like I’ll need them today. I know they’re only shoes, but sometimes they give me the power to face things I don’t want to. Sometimes the worn leather and frayed laces make me invincible.

When I enter the store, Preston is helping a middle-aged lady with a vintage chair. Even though it is big and bulky, he has no problem picking it up and carrying it to the front of the store. Bob Marley sings of “Three Little Birds” as Bennie rings it up. Once the transaction is complete, Preston carries the chair outside to the woman’s waiting truck. He loads it in the back and straps it down for her. I stand next to the front counter and watch through the window as the woman offers him a cash tip for helping. He holds his hands up and shakes his head. She steps closer, holding the money out again. He says something to her, and she laughs. It’s not a that-was-really-funny laugh, it’s a throw-my-head-back-touch-my-cleavage kind of laugh. She’s flirting. Finally, she climbs in her truck and drives away.

Preston reenters the store, and I’m rewarded with a big grin when he finds me there. My instinct is to rise up on my toes and kiss him, but I stop myself. Even though we’ve rounded second base, I still feel this shy, reserved vibe coming from him. We stand a couple of feet apart, just staring, the lyrics of “One Love” passing between us. My mind replays our time together last night, and by the look on his face, he’s doing the same thing. I can’t help myself when I mouth the words silently. Let’s get together and feel all right.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi. Did you handle that problem that came up last night?”

Preston’s eyes flick to Bennie over my shoulder, but she is immersed in her novel, face hidden behind the pages.

“I did.”

“Was it hard?”

He nods his head and smirks.

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